Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thinking back there was a court case where a Guy wanted a day off for athenist. The judge told him there was already a holiday for him, April 1st, Fools Day as the bible states for any man that does not believe in me is a fool or something like that (rolling my eyes) Don't understand why MEN think everybody needs to think the same way. LOOK YOU CAN NOT PROVE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER THAT THERE IS OR IS NOT A GOD! Lets please understand that my sense of reasoning and understanding is different from yours.
Ok back to Christmas - Why Do we feel the need to shower others with gifts (that they do not need, do not want, and can not use) I could understand parents celebrating the 12 days of christmas with new underwear, socks, shirts, pants, jackets, thermals, and NEW school supplies and maybe 1 to 3 toys if their child was very well behaved that year (Yes if YOUR child is a bully that MEANS NO PRESENTS like TOYS) Toys are rewards and not everybody deserves them. Then again it could be due to bad parenting.
Generic is cheaper and just as good as name brand - I've seen it go both ways, where the name brand was made crappy and the generic was awesome and I have seen it where generic the threads were falling out and the name brand threads were strong and tough. TIP: when shopping INSPECT anything you plan to buy it will SAVE YOU TIME, ENERGERY, and Money (from the gas you will have to spend to return it)
When shopping for yourself: TRY IT ON BEFORE YOU BUY IT,why because while it looks great on the dummy person we are all SHAPED DIFFERENTLY. You gotta like the fit, the look, and the shape. If it is to short PUT BACK. Rather spend time getting the perfect fit then spend money to sit in your closet because you don't like the fit.
Look women I hate to break it to you, perfume, make-up, jewerly, hair, and clothes don't make you look any better than you already are. Guess what DRAWS men to us? Confidence! So do yourself and your wallets a favor - spend money only when you have to. MEN if you are listening treat your woman to the spa for a great massage, pedicure, manicure and while she is there go home and fix dinner hire a baby sitter and buy a bottle of wine and candles. Yes women loved to be pampered. I know men know how to massage a woman but you tend to screw it up so you can hurry up and get your massage thats why I suggest paying for the spa.
So remember if you don't need it put it back. Live with in your means. Talk to ya later MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and HAPPY NEW YEARS! And watch out Santa knows if you been naughty or nice.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I honestly felt bad for them. I knew what was like to want a baby ie why I was a teenage mother. To say the least I did ask my husband about it and he told me that was not my problem and that he would never adopt out his children.
It was left alone for several months. I was now working as a medical assistant. Money was tight but we had saved our income tax money and could dip into it if we needed to. We worked opposite shifts and I had the weekends off and still attended church on Sundays. Well one Sunday I was pissed off at hubby. I was still upset about the fact "he joked*" that he was NOT the father. I told one of my friends and what happens? The same church member comes back around and asks if I thought about him and his wife adopting the baby.
This time I sat thinking maybe I might be getting a divorce, extra mouth to feed, what happened to me being excited about having another baby. Could I ever place a child for adoption. This is when Yahoo Answers became my lifeline. This is where I got to watch Gaia Rain (Joy) and MamaKate (Kate) and others talk about the down side of adoption. What the affects of adoption where on the adoptee and natural/first mother. Yes I thought about abortion and I have the right.I was about 20 weeks pregnant so technically I could have still aborted. My father and husband talked me out of it.
I was mad and angry and distance. I was working all the time all away up until I delivered Sara. My Obgyn wondered why I was I so resistant to Delivering at Medical Center of McKinney which only 2 years prior the nurse in labor and delivery asked me if I would like to place my son for adoption. I had the same nurse check me into the hospital but thank heaven a change in shifts and another nurse help deliver. Sara was born at 7:05 PM.
I love her. Even if it took six months to completely build a bond with her. This bond will last us a life time. A thing about bonds is they take time to make and commit on both parties to keep. Proper communication. Smiles that melt your heart.
I look at her and smile, she fell asleep nursing so I placed her on a pillow. My time to type and reflect backwards. She was so tiny, my smallest at 6 pounds 13.3 ounces. She was bigger than I was 6 pounds 7 ounces. I had by tubes clamped shortly after having her. Yes I ate ice chips and yes I lied to my Obgyn and told him that I didn't.
Sara was and is a sweet baby. Always cuddly. Loves attention and loves sharing (especially off the floor she drops you eat it LOL) She knew my schedule. Mondays she was a terror for Daddy or grandma - my gosh she did come for a month. As you might tell I am not close to family nor do we live close to family. I think it might be why we are still married.
Tuesdays were her days of acceptance that mommy had to go to work and Wednesdays were Mommy's short days thank GOD. Thursdays she mainly was well behaved and Fridays she was eager to get over and Saturdays and Sundays she got as much time with Mommy as possible. During naps I'd play with her Brother and Sister or cuddle them or fix them something to eat.
Sara has learned to accept her daily routine even tho she wishes I'd stay at home with her and take care of her. I got to see her first steps her walking, her learning how to crawl, how adorable she is when she bats her eyes. How stubborn she is until she gets her way. How she loves playing with Hot Wheels with her Brother Aaron and Fairies with her Sister Sabrina. That she is very socialable and more importantly she is mine to love and cherish.
* He says he was joking I took him seriously ie lack of proper communication.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Ok, back to things I care about. Adoption: I am trying to make sense why potential adoptive parents think that teenagers need to hand over there children to them. I WAS a teenage mother. I had my daughter Sabrina when I was 18. According to one Potential Adoptive Parent (P.A.P) you shouldn't bother Raising your children if you under 25. Then you got ME, 23 year old with 3 YES 3 children. My Baby turns ONE tomorrow at 7:05PM.
For those of my readers that know little about adoption let me fill you in on a few things. 99% of relinquishing Mothers WANT to Raise their Children but are UNAWARE of public assistance that will help them keep and raise their babies. This is why more poor women are keeping their babies but Middle Class women that were never exposed to Human Health Services don't know where to look for help ie why they turn to adoption agencies to help them with their decisions and advice for where they can find help.
Adoption agencies are bias with the help they offer. New Born infants there make Billions of dollars each year. So they will encourage you (not me personally) to place your baby. But here's the even scarier part, men if you aren't married to the woman or she lies and says you are not the father she may be able to sign your rights away. But sometimes A woman may be truthful and honest that the father DOES NOT want HIS CHILD ADOPTED and they will STILL PLACE the infant with the PAP. In my books that is Kidnapping the fucked up thing is you can be tens of thousands of dollars in Court and the non-parents PAP can be awarded custody of YOUR child AND YOU have to PAY them CHILD SUPPORT for a child that you want and are willing to raise.
Adoption should be for those that TRULY need a home. True Ophans with NO living relatives or No living relatives willing to take them in and of course abused and neglected children. And no having a messy house does not mean kids are being neglected. Neglect failure to feed, clothes, shelter, and protect your children from harm.
Why do women that wait to have children believe that those of us that have children in OUR FERTILE years (16 to 25) should wait to parent when we are older and "maturer" Why do I need a half a million dollars in assets when I start having children? Look I am buying a house, my dowery for a lack of a better word to use paid off my cars and put a down payment on my house. I am 23 and own 3 vehicle 2 running and in like new condition. A 3 bedroom house and 1.75 bathrooms. I have gone to trade school to become a medical assistant and still debating what I want to be when I get older. I am going to Continuing education classes in January 2010 for Tax preparation and Accounting I and II. And for Food Preparation. I want to have different skills so I can make an educated choice on what I want to be. I love numbers, I love budgets, I love organizing (I just hate being the only one cleaning up Everybody elses messes)
I can see that people make choices. The thing I want YOUNG and OLD to learn or to know is that you get to make a choice. You get to decide what your future holds. A couple of hours of time can save years of heart ache. There are programs to make children, healthcare, and food affordable. It just cost time. Even in my community I can find several food pantries, free dental care, free medical care (no I have no recieved it just not patient enough and don't want to wake up before 6 in the morning, but I know its there) And free housing if you don't mind living in a homeless shelter. I have found apartments as low as $295 a monthfor a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment with NO dishwasher, no fireplace, no walk in closets, but heck it's affordable. People sometimes are unwilling to give up there life style and that's on them.
I would be fine living in a trailor, a house boat, or camper as long as I have my children my life.
That's what older Adoptive Parents don't understand. My children are my life and I would never change that. I love them more than anything on this planet. They deserve me not because of the things I can and can not by them but for what I am willing to go through to make sure they have a decent life. A great life. Where they feel loved and wanted and cherished for the treasures they are. They are worth more than Gold, Diamonds, Silver, or Pearls. They are loved and cherished beyond anybodies imagination. They are mine and NO LAWS should EVER be made to separate a CHILD and their PARENTS*. *Exception are those that abuse and neglect their children. Why should a child be relinquished just because their parents are poor? Why not teach these women about budgets, finances, grocery shopping, and cooking. How to open a checking account, how to write a check to pay bills. Why aren't these courses being taken in high school or offered in middle school. Why do we send children to school where they learn little to none real world skills?
Why is it okay for FORTY and FIFTY year olds to approach young women and their chldren at groceries stores and ask if they can adopt OUR CHILDREN. Why is it OK for a labor and delivery nurse to ask a MOTHER that just delivered if she wants to place a baby for adoption? Why is it okay for fellow church goers to use their infertility and their 10 years of trying to conceive as a reason to adopt your unborn child. Why is ok for adoption agencies to send PAP to store "poor women" shop at to talk them into placing. Why isn't adoption about the child but instead the needs or wants of the adoptive couple?
Look older parents, it is natural to HAVE CHILDREN YOUNG. FOR HEAVEN SAKES Girls used to regularly have children aroun 14 for centuries when life expectancy was short. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOUR MOST FERTILE IN YOUR TEENAGE YEARS AND NOT IN YOUR FORTIES AND FIFTIES.
Thank Heaven I will be in my late 30s or my 40s when I have grandchildren. I will be young enough to babysit them and help take care of them. I will be able to see my grandchildren's children. One reason health is so important to me so young. Thanks for following and listening to my rant.
Monday, December 21, 2009
- Pay interest on credit card debt
- Spend cash
- May pay bills late
- Earn interest on saving
- Invest cash in stock market earning more money
- Automatically withdraw bills from bank account avoiding late fees
So even if a spender earns more money a saver can earn more money in the long run by saving and be ready for retirement. Savers and Spenders can live together peacefully. It's called separate bank accounts and allowances just like you got when you were a child.
I am getting ready to take an accounting course in January. I plan to learn more about the subject and adjust my life to that. To save money I think I will start a garden this fall. I will plant bell peppers, tomatoes, carrots, watermelons, lettuce, and cucumbers.
I am hypoglcemic so I NOW have to watch my sugaar intake. Bye Bye White bread, rice, cakes, sodas, chips, fried foods, and white pasta. Meats and veggies are my friend now. LOL.
I like to know about health, adoption, and money matters including smart saving and spending!
These are the few things I like learning about and reading up on. Thanks for following along.