Tuesday, December 22, 2009

C'est La Vie

C'est la vie - that is life! When things don't go perfectly and I want to be happy I remind myself C'est la vie. Life is not fair and nothing goes perfect and I just have to accept that and move on. I have read about marriage and divorce. What is the main cause of divorce -compromise or therefore the lack of and the lack of communications.

Ok, back to things I care about. Adoption: I am trying to make sense why potential adoptive parents think that teenagers need to hand over there children to them. I WAS a teenage mother. I had my daughter Sabrina when I was 18. According to one Potential Adoptive Parent (P.A.P) you shouldn't bother Raising your children if you under 25. Then you got ME, 23 year old with 3 YES 3 children. My Baby turns ONE tomorrow at 7:05PM.

For those of my readers that know little about adoption let me fill you in on a few things. 99% of relinquishing Mothers WANT to Raise their Children but are UNAWARE of public assistance that will help them keep and raise their babies. This is why more poor women are keeping their babies but Middle Class women that were never exposed to Human Health Services don't know where to look for help ie why they turn to adoption agencies to help them with their decisions and advice for where they can find help.

Adoption agencies are bias with the help they offer. New Born infants there make Billions of dollars each year. So they will encourage you (not me personally) to place your baby. But here's the even scarier part, men if you aren't married to the woman or she lies and says you are not the father she may be able to sign your rights away. But sometimes A woman may be truthful and honest that the father DOES NOT want HIS CHILD ADOPTED and they will STILL PLACE the infant with the PAP. In my books that is Kidnapping the fucked up thing is you can be tens of thousands of dollars in Court and the non-parents PAP can be awarded custody of YOUR child AND YOU have to PAY them CHILD SUPPORT for a child that you want and are willing to raise.

Adoption should be for those that TRULY need a home. True Ophans with NO living relatives or No living relatives willing to take them in and of course abused and neglected children. And no having a messy house does not mean kids are being neglected. Neglect failure to feed, clothes, shelter, and protect your children from harm.

Why do women that wait to have children believe that those of us that have children in OUR FERTILE years (16 to 25) should wait to parent when we are older and "maturer" Why do I need a half a million dollars in assets when I start having children? Look I am buying a house, my dowery for a lack of a better word to use paid off my cars and put a down payment on my house. I am 23 and own 3 vehicle 2 running and in like new condition. A 3 bedroom house and 1.75 bathrooms. I have gone to trade school to become a medical assistant and still debating what I want to be when I get older. I am going to Continuing education classes in January 2010 for Tax preparation and Accounting I and II. And for Food Preparation. I want to have different skills so I can make an educated choice on what I want to be. I love numbers, I love budgets, I love organizing (I just hate being the only one cleaning up Everybody elses messes)

I can see that people make choices. The thing I want YOUNG and OLD to learn or to know is that you get to make a choice. You get to decide what your future holds. A couple of hours of time can save years of heart ache. There are programs to make children, healthcare, and food affordable. It just cost time. Even in my community I can find several food pantries, free dental care, free medical care (no I have no recieved it just not patient enough and don't want to wake up before 6 in the morning, but I know its there) And free housing if you don't mind living in a homeless shelter. I have found apartments as low as $295 a monthfor a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment with NO dishwasher, no fireplace, no walk in closets, but heck it's affordable. People sometimes are unwilling to give up there life style and that's on them.

I would be fine living in a trailor, a house boat, or camper as long as I have my children my life.

That's what older Adoptive Parents don't understand. My children are my life and I would never change that. I love them more than anything on this planet. They deserve me not because of the things I can and can not by them but for what I am willing to go through to make sure they have a decent life. A great life. Where they feel loved and wanted and cherished for the treasures they are. They are worth more than Gold, Diamonds, Silver, or Pearls. They are loved and cherished beyond anybodies imagination. They are mine and NO LAWS should EVER be made to separate a CHILD and their PARENTS*. *Exception are those that abuse and neglect their children. Why should a child be relinquished just because their parents are poor? Why not teach these women about budgets, finances, grocery shopping, and cooking. How to open a checking account, how to write a check to pay bills. Why aren't these courses being taken in high school or offered in middle school. Why do we send children to school where they learn little to none real world skills?

Why is it okay for FORTY and FIFTY year olds to approach young women and their chldren at groceries stores and ask if they can adopt OUR CHILDREN. Why is it OK for a labor and delivery nurse to ask a MOTHER that just delivered if she wants to place a baby for adoption? Why is it okay for fellow church goers to use their infertility and their 10 years of trying to conceive as a reason to adopt your unborn child. Why is ok for adoption agencies to send PAP to store "poor women" shop at to talk them into placing. Why isn't adoption about the child but instead the needs or wants of the adoptive couple?

Look older parents, it is natural to HAVE CHILDREN YOUNG. FOR HEAVEN SAKES Girls used to regularly have children aroun 14 for centuries when life expectancy was short. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOUR MOST FERTILE IN YOUR TEENAGE YEARS AND NOT IN YOUR FORTIES AND FIFTIES.

Thank Heaven I will be in my late 30s or my 40s when I have grandchildren. I will be young enough to babysit them and help take care of them. I will be able to see my grandchildren's children. One reason health is so important to me so young. Thanks for following and listening to my rant.

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